Muddle Mayhem

Decluttering my home – and life – one piece of junk at a time…

I need help!

My house is a disaster! It’s worse than that! It’s almost not liveable in here!

How do I let it get this way and how do these people who live with me put up with it? They are absolutely no help and TOTALLY OK with the mayhem.

I’M NOT!

I just came downstairs to blog on the computer but first I had to move dishes, a lamp and alarm clock. Why is a lamp and alarm clock sitting in from of the keyboard??? I’ll never know! But I do know that it caused me to tear up. I’m sick of this mess! I want out of this mess.

I look room to room and see clutter. Stuff we shouldn’t own yet here it is. And why? Didn’t I declutter this place to an outstanding beautiful home not that long ago? I really don’t get it and I need help. I need a lot of help but don’t know where to turn.

This blog is suppose to be about the positive changes in my routines and cleaning habits. Right now, there is nothing positive to report. And I had dedicated this day to clean but I have NO IDEA where to start. How did I start last time?

Back in May, I got a new job as a nanny. This requires me to care for children AND maintain a household. Guess what? I have no trouble with either task.

So why is it so hard for me with my own house?

Clutter – It is such a huge mess that I have no desire/motivation to tackle it when I get home from work.

So here’s the plan

Step 1.

Reread blog to freshen my memory on how all this got started.

As I’m reading my past post, I can hear the frustration in my words. There was A LOT of work to be done. The bright side is, even though I still have a lot of decluttering and cleaning, I don’t have any furniture to move and everything has a home somewhere since we assigned and organized it all last winter.

Out of 74 posts, here’s what stands out the most:

  • I started with the kitchen because it is the most important room in the house
  • I discovered I didn’t have to be a nagging monster if I simply provided the home everyone deserved
  • I know that my family is not going to cooperate with my motivation and so I have to find a way to be patient, tight-lipped and just go through the motions of keeing this place clean on my own
  • The sad truth about clutter
  • Never wait for the last minute to deal with a mess
  • 52 small project list is an awesome idea but until I regain some control here, I’m putting this on the back burner
  • Menu plans are a must
  • I really enjoyed doing (and rereading) the picture analysis & productive list posts

One last thing, I complained A LOT of headaches in my posts… but I’m happy to announce that my doctor started me on blood pressure medication in January and I haven’t had a headache since!!!

Step 2.

Create a list of goals

  • Designate an area in the house for items we want to get rid of
  • Unescapable daily chores: Dishes, Laundry, Cooking, Keeping floors cleared, Dining room table, Bathrooms
  • As I’m waiting for dinner to cook at work, I walk room to room and clear any messes that might have accumulated throughout the day. I have to bring this habit home!
  • Make a list of rooms in order of clutterness (best to worse)
  • Continue with to-do lists however stop waiting for scheduled times to clean
  • Have ONE go-through box at a time
  • Instead of a Maintenance day, I shall have a maintenance hour
  • I cannot overwhelm myself with challenges
  • Declutter, donate and revisit these sections daily

Step 3.

Implement new habits.

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It’s been 6 months…

Rereading my last post entry sounds sooooo exciting, so uplifting. Our house had been approved and we were going forth with our foster care application.

I remember writing it like it was yesterday yet it feels like ages ago!

As I had mentioned in other posts and pages, my biggest fear was my past. However I was reassured time and time again that the past was the past and the future is now.

Our house had been approved, we sent in our application and required forms. We were now waiting for the green light to go ahead with the home study and course. On February 20th, we received the call we had been waiting for.

We’re sorry Mr & Mrs Muddle Mayhem but your past is denying you your dreams.

Ok so they didn’t word it that way… what they said was:

  • You chose a violent man over the safety of your children.
  • The workers you worked with then would have a hard time working with you now.
  • We can’t put your children through the trauma of the application knowing you won’t be approved in the end
  • AND once you’ve been through depression, you never get over it.

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!

I cried.

I called the supervisor and cried some more (showing just how mature I was there!)

I pleaded, I begged.

They told me that I couldn’t appeal their decision.

I felt absolutely defeated. 12 years of rebuilding my life and still the past haunts me!

That was 5 months ago. Have I gotten over it? Heck no! Am I accepting their decision? Nope. Am I realizing that I still needed to grow and better myself. Oh YEAH!

I received a letter in the mail saying I can re-apply in 5 years. I may, or may not. I honestly don’t know. The possibility of being turned down a third time is frightening.

So that was the bad news… here’s the worse news!

I haven’t been able to keep the mayhem at bay! It’s bad in here!!!!

This blog helped me  A LOT (along with the foster care motivation) and I’ve always wanted to keep a blog all about me and my crazy life/thoughts/struggles. I’m not sure how it’s all going to merge together yet but my goals are to post something on a regular basis, recover this house to a liveable state and expose all the lemons that are thrown at me on a daily basis.

On a brighter note, I quit my waitressing job once I secured a nanny position. I’m still able to care for children, just not in my home. These kids are amazing and I’m getting paid really well.  Life is good right now.

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